We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're 
taking the other Blue States with us.  In case you  aren't aware, that includes 
California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington,  Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, 
Illinois and the entire Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial 
to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New 
California. 
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get 
stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You 
get Dollywood.  We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. 
You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and  
entrepreneurs. You get Alabama . We get two-thirds of the tax revenue; you get to 
make the red states pay their fair share. 
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian 
Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. 
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and 
we're going  to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people 
to  fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to  
send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show  
pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in  
Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our  
resources in Bush's Quagmire. 
With the Blue States in hand, we  will have firm control of 80 percent of the 
country's fresh water, more than  90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 
percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines, 
90 percent of all cheese, 90  percent of the high tech industry, most of the 
U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy 
and Seven Sister schools plus U of Chicago, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red 
States, on the other hand, you  will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese 
Americans (and their  projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. 
mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 
percent of all  Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, 
Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We 
get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. 
Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was 
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're 
discussing the war,  the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution 
is only a  theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent 
of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals than we  
lefties. 
Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can find solace in the moonshine and  bottles of pills . 
Peace out,
Blue  States
