20 Clues A Woman Should Call It A Night

1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.
2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my butt
while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move around.
3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly
believe I could do it too.
4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more like Tammy
Faye Baker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.
5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. submarine on the floor (which I'm eating even
though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.
6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo
much.
7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work.
8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to
me.
9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.
10.The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and
sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.
11.My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I
keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.
12.I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
13.I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me
just lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin.
14.I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the
kitchen floor.
15.I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the
WRONG WAY but..."
16.I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.
17.My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
18.I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be
standing) and take a quick nap.
19.I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut
down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.
20.I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm
having problems walking straight.

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