Monday, May 17, 2010

Research says erect gay penises are bigger


(Ok we all already know that tons of freaking gay men are hot and delicious, but now they have bigger cocks!! This is all sooo not fair!)

Nov. 4, 1999

Six inches is the average length of a male erection, right? More or less? More (6.32 inches) if you're gay, apparently. And less (5.99) if you're straight. Stiff homosexual organs are one-third of an inch longer, claims an article titled "The Relation Between Sexual Orientation and Penile Size" in the June Archives of Sexual Behavior.

The phallus findings are based on archived data from 5,122 measurements of men's schlongs obtained by the Kinsey Report from 1938-1963.


Read the Rest on Salon.Com

Friday, May 14, 2010

Remember Carrie Prejean?


Yea nobody really does....

Gotta Love House Sitting....


I'm house sitting the house of my ex-boss and his boyfriend for this entire week. That's why I didn't blog yesterday, I fell asleep in the sun by the pool after a walk through the North East PB Hills. They have a gorgeous Old Hollywood meets Desert Chic big house with a pool and hot tub. I love when life hands you little gifts like this!! So thankful, THANKS LIFE!

Genuis or Creepy Way to Open Sexy Texting Spree??


Have you ever wanted to text your crush but had nothing to say? So you MIS-TEXTED them? This is where you "text" the person above or below the person you REALLY want to text but you send it to your crush. For instance, on your contacts list you have

Dana
Derrick
Duvall

You have a major crush on Derrick but don't have a reason to text and you are boozy, horny and you want to open up some text flirting so you "accidentally" text Derrick with this:

"Hey Dana, we still going out to party tomorrow?? Wooo!"

Then Derrick will surely text back, you hope, with something fun and flirty, flirthy texting ensues possibly turning into sexy texting which possibly turns into you getting laid on said boozy and boring night. Am I right!?!? Wow. Did I admit a pathetic tactic/ploy? Is it pathetic or genius? Has anyone done this???

(Gotta love that old school Nokia screen huh??)

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Is it gay...


...for straight men to watch non-gay porn together? I went to stand up comedy last night and the comic said that and like 15 guys clapped in agreement. Some of them, very thug like, yea, I'll say it! I dunno, I asked the guy I was with and he said he thought it sounded pretty gay, especially if some sort of circle jerk whack fest occurs. Hmmm...wondering if it's worth mulling over...

iPoo App


This is an app where you can see where everyone who has and uses the app is poopin'. Virtual communal crappin'.

What is iPoo?

Always find yourself with nothing to do while you're sitting on the can? Introducing iPoo - a new iPhone application that gives you something to do - while you poo! iPoo is a social community that brings together pooers from around the world. Write messages, draw graffiti on the virtual stalls, see what others are posting - all while dropping a deuce!

How it works

When you open iPoo on your iPhone, you're instantly connected with other users who are also taking a dump. You can see and create messages and drawings using our virtual stalls, poo stream, or even map view! And it's smart - we'll show you only the info that's relevant to where you are. You'll be able to see what others have posted in the same spot you are taking a dump!


A slam-dunk argument in favor of legalizing marijuana


The whole legalization of marijuana argument is too many times infused with half witted passion, from both sides. Less arguments and more loud spewing of what some believes regardless of the facts or logic, myself included. I read a bad ass article by SD Citybeat colunist Edwin Decker, it was soooo right on, can't deny it's simple logic. PLEASE READ!

My exploding heart

A slam-dunk argument in favor of legalizing marijuana



Because the decriminalization of marijuana will be on the California ballot this November, there’s been much debate regarding its health risks. And you know what? I’m actually beginning to think the anti-pot activists are right—legalization will have a grave effect on public health. Well, at least, the discussion of it will, because every time I hear a debate on the subject, my heart bursts open and blood spurts out my ears.

It’s the same setting every time. On one side of the table, you get a rabid, anti-pot conservative making ridiculously inflated, Reefer Madnessian claims about the harmful effects of marijuana, and on the other side, a mild-mannered, though ill-equipped, pro-pot liberal who never gets around to saying the one thing that will obliterate the conservative argument.

This time it was a debate / interview between Fox News commentator Laura Ingraham and Steve Fox, author of the book Marijuana is Safer: So Why Are We Driving People to Drink?

“Would you smoke pot before a TV appearance like this?” Ingraham smugly asked at the beginning of the interview.

The blood raged in my body, and the walls of my aorta stretched to their rupture point as I howled at the television. “Of course he wouldn’t, you moron!” Nor, I’m betting, would he get loaded on Rumplemintz, shave his head bald, paint his fingernails black or change into his full-body, leather masochism outfit. There’s probably a whole crap-ton of things he would not do before going on television—so what does that have to do with anything?

Ingraham continued with more dopey questions (paraphrased): Would you recommend that people smoke pot every day? Would you want a stoner to operate on your brain? Would you teach your kids how to use a bong?

Fox responded to the questions adequately enough (paraphrased): No. Nor would recommend drinking alcohol every day. Nor would I want a drunk to operate on my brain. Nor would I teach my kids to use a beer bong.

Having been easily shot down, Ingraham delivered the argument that anti-marijuana conservatives rely on when their other arguments fail, the argument that stymies even the most learned pro-pot spokesperson, an argument that seems credible on the surface but ain’t, the argument that says, (paraphrased): That alcohol is harmful is no reason to make pot legal.

And like all the other pro-pot liberals that came before him, our boy Fox couldn’t respond. Instead, he switched the subject, without making the one point that can stop conservatives like Ingraham in their tracks: In a free society, Laura, you don’t need a reason to make something legal. You need a reason to make it illegal.

There’s just no response to that, certainly not from conservatives. They always fancy themselves little-government types, yet they don’t seem to care that every bullshit morality beef that becomes a law increases the size and scope of government. This is why my ticker becomes a time-bomb whenever one of these hypocrites has the nerve to ask for a reason to make pot legal. The question is not: Should we legalize marijuana? The question is: Should we have criminalized it in the first place? And the answer is: Hell no! Marijuana prohibition is the result of blatant lies, ignorance and propaganda that preyed on the racial fears of Caucasian America toward Mexican immigrants in the early 1900s. It was reinforced in the ’20s and ’30s when it was discovered that marijuana was being smoked by wild-eyed Negroes playing that crazy jump-jive music that was getting all the white girls’ panties damp.

In a free society, you need a reason to make something illegal, and the reason probably shouldn’t be racism.

Look at it this way: What if the whole thing were reversed? What if cannabis were never outlawed? What if rationality ruled the day in the 1900s and pot was never criminalized? Now, what if some hoity-toity prohibition-types suddenly wanted us to vote to make the possession and use of marijuana a crime? Could you imagine? Every free-thinking person in the state would stop what they were doing and say, “What’s this now!? Please cite your reason as to why we should put another asterisk on our freedom.”

There’s no chance that proposition would pass. Nobody ever started a bar brawl because they were too baked. Nobody ever mugged a tourist to get a marijuana fix. Nobody ever contracted diabetes, sustained liver damage—or got cancer, even—from smoking pot.

Says Laura Ingraham: “We really don’t know long-term dangers of marijuana use.” At that point, my heart finally exploded and blood spurted out of my ears. Because, when somebody says, “We don’t know the long-term dangers,” what it really means is, “We haven’t found any long-term dangers.”

Yeah, well, we haven’t found any long-term dangers associated with aromatherapy, either.

C’mon! We’ve been studying marijuana for decades. And report after report—including a 30-year UCLA study that found no link between pot and cancer—all came up blank.

What does that matter anyway? If “long-term danger” were the criteria for criminalization, then say goodbye to alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, sugar, beef, dairy, cell phones, television, typing, sitting, standing, smiling, cranking up your stereo, reading in the dark, playing contact sports, jogging on pavement and all sorts of other activities Ingraham wouldn’t dare want criminalized.

Or would she?

Whatever. The point is: Fuck her, and fuck her friends. It’s my body, my life.

Write to ed@sdcitybeat.com and editor@sdcitybeat.com if you are a conservative and think you can successfully debunk my small-government argument. Visit www.edwindecker.com.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

So ducking gay

If you have auto-spell correct on your phone you've definitely had the word "fuck" or "fucking" turn into "duck" or "ducking" by accident. Family Guy used last week's episode to poke fun at the phenomenon lol

Pet Who Want to Kill Themselves


I think when people dress animals up it is HILARIOUS. But they just really hate it, especially the universally know CHICKEN COSTUME. My friends dog shoots daggers and won't move an INCH until we take it off of her. How do they know they are being ridiculed for our own pleasure!? Check out other tortured animals at Pets Who Want to Kill Themselves.com

Scientists Find Hangover Molecule in Brain


I love science, they are discovering stuff all the time, stuff we wouldn't even think of. And getting worms drunk in the process....

Neuroscientists at the University of Southampton discovered a molecule, neuropeptide, that is thought to trigger the feelings of withdrawal symptoms after a night out of heavy drinking. As the brain tries to adapt to not being intoxicated anymore this molecule is the one that causes the body to experience typical hangover symptoms. The scientists studied a worm brain that is similar to human's when intoxicated and found that the brain experiences withdrawal symptoms after the drinking stops. If the worms were given a small dose of alcohol during the withdrawal, "their irritable behaviors eased," reports LiveScience. But using the "hair of the dog" strategy to combat hangovers makes it more likely that an alcohol dependency will develop.

Read original story in LiveScience | Monday, May 10, 2010

Monday, May 10, 2010

Why no Cheri Oteri on SNL Ladies Night?!


The long awaited SNL episode starring host Betty White was great! She was so funny, everyone likes to see an old lady cuss right? Plus it was "Ladies of SNL Night" so my girls, like Rachel Dratch, Molly Shannon, Anna Gasteyer, Maya Rudolph, Tina Fey and a very pregnant Amy Poehler were all on the show boosting it to it's best ratings since the 2008 elections!

The only problem: WHERE THE HELL WAS CHERI OTERI!?!?!?! It just wasn't right without her!




My favorite Cheri Oteri recurring role is Pharmacy Lady, but Leg Up is a close second!!


ALSO: The Debbie Downer skit they didn't air on Saturday Night!


Check Out The Trash Talk Tracy Morgan Let Loose About Oteri and Chris Kattan

Inglorious Bastards. Damn.


Ok, I know I'm super late to the party but this movie is sooooo fucking good! All the acting: phenomenal, the re-imagining of WWII is mind opening (love movies for that), the movie making as a whole is superb, really gorgeous. Definitely Quentin Tarantino's Magnum Opus, and what a claim seeing as how he friggin made Pulp Fiction. Go to your nearest Red Box (Cuz lord knows spending $1.25 on Red Box makes way more sense than $5 at Blockbuster) and rent it NOW, again, if you've seen it!

The Victoria Secret of the 70's Does Not Compute






I don't know if these Victoria Secret adds are sexy, but they are sensual. Which leads me to believe that at one time the lingerie magazine was made for women who wanted to shop comfortably for lingerie and not for men who wanted free porn to beat off to.... It does not compute with the Victoria Secret that I know of today. The boobs are WAY smaller, and I'm pretty sure I've never seen a Victoria Secret tea party photo shoot until now.....Gotta love the Victorian hair and velvet bed spread set!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Welcome to San Diego Chelsea Handler!


Where do I FIND her!?! Does anyone know? Besides her performance at the Civic Theater on Saturday night. I, um...I can't afford that....but I know she is fond of drinking so if I could get some inside tips on where the after or pre parties are I think we could be best friends!!

Vintage Prom at The Pearl

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It ain't a secret, I've said it over and over. The Pearl is my all time favorite place to dine! Get more info about the latest event (they have bad ass events ALL the time), The Vintage Prom, on The Pearl Website!!

Beach to Brewery Beer + Music Fest




Beach to Brewery Beer + Music Fest is set for Saturday May 8, 2010 from 2:00p-7:00p at our Main Brewery in Pacific Beach. This year marks the 7th year of supporting the local San Diego Surfrider Chapter.

Admission includes a souvenir taster glass and 5 samples. Tickets are $25/pre-sale and $30/at the door. All proceeds go directly to the Surfrider Foundation, San Diego Chapter.

The Asian Cultural Festival of San Diego


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The Asian Cultural Festival of San Diego is a celebration of the diversity of San Diego with a focus on the cultures of the Asian and Pacific Islander Community!

The Asian Cultural Festival of San Diego will take place on Saturday, May 8th, 2010, from 11am to 6pm, at the NTC Park at Liberty Station, at the intersection of Roosevelt Road and Cushing Road, 92106.

During this fun, free, family friendly, festive event, there will be martial arts, cultural dances and exhibitions, cooking demos, entertainment, games, and of course, food! The Asian Cultural Festival is a smoking-free environment.

Gator By The Bay Fest



Gator By The Bay,
San Diego's 9th Annual Zydeco, Blues & Crawfish festival! A family event that is sure to delight your ears, tickle your tastebuds and move your soul!

Now 3 Days!
Mother's Day Weekend, May 7, 8 & 9 2010

All New! Friday 7th - 4:00 PM - 10:30 PM (gates open 3:30 PM)
Saturday 8th - 10:30 AM - 8:00 PM (gates open 10:00 AM)
Sunday 9th - 10:30 AM - 8:00 PM (gates open 10:00 AM)

Featuring:

* Top Zydeco, Blues & Cajun Bands
* Delicious Cajun & Creole Food

* Quality Festival Marketplace
* Southern Cooking Demos

* Fun Dance Lessons
* Kid Friendly Activities
* The Rad Hatter

* New Friday 'Gator By Night'
Zydeco & Blues in a Supper Club atmosphere
Click here for more Info

* Saturday Night Dance
with Brian Jack & the Zydeco Gamblers
9 PM at the Sheraton Hotel & Marina.
(Tickets sold separately)

* 8,000 Pounds of Live Crawfish
Straight From Louisiana!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

I want to Salsa Dance

Maybe I never get THIS good but doesn't this make you just want to get out on the dance floor and GO!? Big siiiiigh....

Need New Mexican Food?


Probably not, once you have your favorite it's hard to go elsewhere. BUT if your place is sucking or you tasted the food there when you WEREN'T plastered and discovered the Styrofoam container tasted better then check out Porkyland! It used to be over in Barrio Logan but has now moved over to Hillcrest, right by Kiki Sushi and Uncle Biff's Cookies on 6th and University. I always say if I see a restaurant being frequented by the people that match the nationality of the cuisine it's probably a good sign, and that's Porkyland for you. It was a Barrio Logan favorite and it was DELICIOUS!

Ultra Boring Gay Reveal


Sorry I got you guys all riled up for a Gay Reveal. I thought it'd be like Anderson Cooper or something. It's actually some country music singer I've never heard of. Awesome. Didn't even make CNN News man...

From People Magazine:


Country singer Chely Wright (39) has revealed her big secret to the public on May 3, 2010. Chely Wright is a lesbian. She has apparently shunned this secret to the public due to the music field she has chosen to sing Chely Wright told People magazine, "she is gay and that nothing in her life has been more magical than the moment she decided to reveal her sexuality," according to an article at huffingtonpost.com. Apparently she has had to hide her sexuality in her music.

Chely Wright has made six albums that were released to the public. The most popular album is "Shut Up and Drive."

According to an article from USA TODAY, there has never been a country music star who has ever actually said that they were gay and Chely Wright is definitely a first. She told People magazine that she had not planned on being the first but eventually decided to come out.

A week before Chely decided to come out and tell everyone she was gay People magazine announced that a star was going to reveal their sexual orientation (being gay) in the next issue, and true to their word, Chely decided to tell America her big secret.

Chely told People that she felt that earlier in her life she thought that she could pray and change the way that she felt but could not and decided to finally tell everyone after trying to hide it after so many years. Chely told Access Hollywood that she believed she was "living a lie" and that when she realized that Brad Paisley as showing a marriage-type interest in her she felt like she could not hid her secret any longer and immediately stopped seeing him. Apparently, this is not the only man she had seen either and this announcement really raised some eyebrows. According to an article from the Examiner, it is not uncommon for the record label to cover up the fact that one of their singer's are gay in order to prevent controversies and they may even try to arrange dates in order for the celebrity to remain "normal" in America's eyes.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Breaking News: Some Famous Person Is Going To Come Out Today


People Magazine allegedly has the exclusive and the celeb is booked on several major talk shows that week including "The View."

PR powerhouse Howard Bragman, who has successfully -- some might add brilliantly -- orchestrated several celeb outings in the past decade talked about his next coming out project at the GLAAD Media Awards red carpet Sunday (Apr. 17).



Who do think it will be!?!?! I wonder if they were pissed Ricky Martin stole some of their coming out thunder....ok Ricky didn't steal any thunder, I think we all got on with our lives about 7 seconds after that news....but what if this is a biggy!

From Nerve Blog

Cinco de Drinko y Drunko de Mayo


Yes, you smug little assholes, we KNOW that Cinco de Mayo isn't Mexican Independence Day and no, we really DON'T care what it is. For Americans, especially those in Southern California, it's an excuse to get fucking PLASTERED on a week day and excuse any bad decisions made on that day, let it be! The tequila is flowing, the Tecate cheaper than ever and the delicious Mexican food abundant. Check out live Cumbia music, fiestas, drink and dinner specials and more all over town today!!!

VIVA CINCO DE MAYO!!
Click Here for a bevy of Cinco De Mayo Haps from SignonSanDiego


Ok, Ok I'll tell you what May 5th really is.....(Or Wikipedia will....)

Cinco de Mayo (Spanish for "fifth of May") is a voluntarily observed holiday that commemorates the Mexican army's unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, under the leadership of General Ignacio Zaragoza SeguĂ­n.[2][3] It is celebrated primarily in the state of Puebla and in the United States.[4][5][6][7] While Cinco de Mayo has limited significance nationwide in Mexico, the date is observed in the United States and other locations around the world as a celebration of Mexican heritage and pride.[8] Cinco de Mayo is not Mexico's Independence Day,[9] the most important national patriotic holiday in Mexico.[10]

Texan Claims Oil Spill an "an act of God"


Welp, then God must be a total dickhead. The leak took 11 lives and threatens the Gulf coast’s vast fishing industry.

Texas Gov. Rick Perry has a theory about what caused the recent oil spill that's still spreading throughout the Gulf of Mexico: It was "an act of God." While speaking at the Chamber of Commerce on Monday, Perry argued against further regulation of the oil industry and said that "from time to time there are going to be things that occur that are acts of God that cannot be prevented."

Read More on Politico

Word on the street is that God also caused the recent smattering of earthquakes
. What an asshole!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Photocopy Roll and Miso Xerox


The other day I woke up with a hangover and had to make some copies. Don't you hate when that happens?? ha. Anyway I vaguely remembered a Kinko's on 6th and University near my house in Hillcrest and headed over, walked in and instantly smelled shrimp tempura. I was in a fucking sushi joint. It was called Kiki Sushi, written in the same damn font as the Old School Kinko's logo. I wonder how many other people have made that mistake?! I was too hungover to eat sushi and I've never gone back, incidentally the FedEx Kinko's was one block down University Avenue. Weird.

Weird Lyrics: Tim McGraw's "I Need You"

I heard this song the other day, Ok I admit, I like some country music, only when it's sung by women though. Had to sound off on these lyrics, my comments are in red. Still confused.

I wanna drink that shot of whiskey
I wanna smoke that cigarette
I wanna smell that sweet addiction on my breath
(Ever smelled cigs on breath? It sure ain't sweet...)
I wanna ride cross West Virginia on the backseat of a Cadillac
(Pray tell, who is driving? And WHY West Virginia??)
You know some cowboys like me go out like that so I need you
(Pretty sure cowboys don't get driven around like fuckin' Ms. Daisy....)

[Chorus]
Like a needle needs a vein
(DOES a needle need a vein? Is that a thing? What kind of junkie is writing this shit?!)
Like Uncle Joe in Oklahoma needs a rain
(Why does Uncle Joe need rain so much? I'm assuming he has crops but he also might have an upcoming white water rafting trip...)
I need you like a lighthouse on the coast
(This is a country song. What the HELL do you know about coasts!?)
Like the father and the son needs the holy ghost
(Pretty sure in Sunday school they said the Father, Son, AND the ghost that Christians pray to is all one person. It'd be insanity to miss YOURSELF right? I'm sure some Pastor could explain this one right?? Also, isn't it weird how Christians believe in and pray to a ghost?? Nuts.)
I need you

I wanna get lost in some corner booth
Cantina Mexico
(If you're LOST in a booth it's best you put down the tequila and start making some better decisions)
I wanna dance to the static of an a.m. radio
(You gotta have really good drugs to dance to static man....)
I wanna wrap the moon around us and lay beside you skin on skin
Make love 'til the sun comes up and the sun goes down again cause i need you
(You gotta have really good drug to alter the universe for your sexual benefit man)

[Chorus]
Like a needle needs a vein
Like Uncle Joe in Oklahoma needs a rain
I need you
Like a lighthouse on the coast
Like the father and the son needs the holy ghost
I need you

I wanna drink that shot of whiskey
I wanna smoke that cigarette
You know some cowboys like me go out like that I need you

Somebody get Palin a History Book


The Plum Line
Greg Sargent's blog

Palin: Founding Fathers Wouldn’t Agree With Separation Of Church And State

A bunch of people have already had some fun with Sarah Palin’s claim, at a religious gathering in Kentucky, that religion shouldn’t be “separated” from the state.

Word of Palin’s assertion came in an article in the Louisville Courier-Journal about an evangelical women’s conference featuring Palin. It quotes Palin as saying: “God shouldn’t be separated from the state.”

But I’ve got a full transcript of Palin’s remarks, and it’s worse than you might have thought: She cited the Founding Fathers as proof that God shouldn’t be separated from the state. Peter Smith, the Courier-Journal reporter who broke the story, sends over the full context of her remarks:

I beg you, Women of Joy, to bring light and be involved, loving America and praying for her. Really, it is our solemn duty. Praying for true spiritual awakening to overcome deterioration. That is where God wants us to be. Lest anyone try to convince you that God should be separated from the state, our Founding Fathers, they were believers. And George Washington, he saw faith in God as basic to life.

This is substandard history. In reality, the separation of church and state, thanks in part to the efforts of those very same Founding Fathers, is enshrined in the Bill of Rights:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

And the phrase “separation of church and state” is generally associated with a letter written by Founding Father Thomas Jefferson in which he interpreted the above clause along those lines.

There was a time when this sort of thing would provoke widespread media mockery and perhaps even be seen as a potential disqualifier for the presidency.

This blog’s homepage is here.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Lovin' Passive Aggressive Notes.com!


If you've ever lived with a roommate or worked with co-workers you've probably seen a passive aggressive note. Dirty microwaves, hair in the tub, forgetting to lock the door, all these things are sources of not so subtle bitchy notes that people leave, and they can be hilarious! I found a whole website of them and also submitted a passive aggressive roommate note that one of my best friends roommates left (see the top note, lower note is from the website)!




PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE NOTES.COM


Worst Titties I Ever Did See!!


Gabrielle Reece, Kelly Bensimon, Laird Hamilton and Reece Hamilton attend the 23rd Annual Great Sports Legends Dinner to Cure Paralysis at the Waldorf Astoria on September 22, 2008 in New York City.

Ok Kelly Bensimon is a Real Housewife of NYC, can't she afford to remedy her freaky ass rack?

Greg Laswell's New Album


I love local musician Greg Laswell, he went to my alma mater so I've known his music intimately and seen him through vast touring schedules, album releases, a move to LA and even a romance with Mandy Moore. His latest album is out on May 4th and you've gotta check it out. Can somebody please tell me why he isn't ultra famous yet? His voice is gorgeous, his lyrics unique and for a girl like me who generally loathes guy-n-guitar music Greg takes the genre to a whoooooole 'nother level.

GREG LASWELL WEBSITE

Greg Laswell "Take Everything" from Vanguard Records on Vimeo.