Animal Cruelty or Couture Dog Grooming?

Not the finest hour for the poodle breed. Or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles....

What "Want to go for a drink" means for men and women: Israeli Drinking Ads

Ass Up in Snow: Getting Caught in a Vail Ski Lift

From The Smoking Gun Blog:
JANUARY 6--In a bizarre incident that will surely lead to litigation (or an out-of-court settlement), a skier at Colorado's ritzy Vail resort was left dangling upside down and pantsless from a chairlift last Thursday morning. The January 1 mishap apparently occurred after the male skier, 48, and a child boarded a high-speed lift in Vail's Blue Sky Basin. It appears that the chairlift's fold-down seat was somehow not in the lowered position, which caused the man to partially fall through the resulting gap. His right ski got jammed in the ascending chairlift, and that kept him upended since his boot never dislodged from its binding. As seen in the photos on the following pages (which were snapped by fellow skiers), the Skyline Express lift was stopped shortly after the pair's botched boarding resulted in the man dangling from the lift. The exposed skier was stuck for about 15 minutes before Vail personnel backed the lift up and successfully dislodged the unidentified man from the four-seat chair. In a statement released this afternoon, Vail Resorts, which operates the ski area, reported that the skier was not injured after being "suspended for approximately seven minutes." The press release did not explain how the mishap occurred, only that "the man was caught on the chair."

Wal-Marts New Discount Wine

For all you wine lovers out there, this is noteworthy!!!!

Walmart announced that, sometime in 2009,it will begin offering customers a new discount item, Walmart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2 - $5 range.

Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of Walmart brand into their shopping carts ,but "there is a market for inexpensive wine," said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at the University of Arkansas. "But the right name is important." Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Walmart wine brand.

The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:

10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar
2. Grape Expectations
1. Nasti Spumante


The beauty of Walmart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).

P.S. Don't bother writing back that this is a hoax.I know possum is not a white meat.

Child named Adolph Hilter Dosen't Get to Have His Cake and Eat it Too

EASTON, Pa. (WABC) -- Three-year-old Adolph Hitler Campbell is cute, cuddly and, for now, blissfully unaware of the shock value conveyed by his first and middle names. That may be changing, though.

The youngster was at the center of a recent dispute between his parents and a local supermarket that refused to spell out his name on a cake for his birthday party last weekend. A story in a local newspaper prompted an outpouring of angry online responses directed at Heath Campbell, 35, and his wife Deborah, 25.

"I think people need to take their heads out of the cloud they've been in and start focusing on the future and not on the past," Heath Campbell said Tuesday in an interview conducted on the other side of the Delaware River from where the family lives in Hunterdon County, N.J.

"There's a new president and he says it's time for a change; well, then it's time for a change," he continued. "They need to accept a name. A name's a name. The kid isn't going to grow up and do what (Hitler) did."


Read The Rest
Story Highlights:

-The Campbells' other two children also have unusual names: JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell turns 2 in a few months and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell will be 1 in April.
-They wanted a swastika on the cake too
-On Tuesday the father wore a pair of black boots he said were worn by a German soldier during World War II.
-Wal Mart finally made the infamous cake (of course, ANYTHING to make a buck)
-There were 12 kids at the birthday party. They were of mixed races.

Shoes Thrown at Bush Revealed to Have Message on Bottoms

Lee Camp at 236

I like how the bottom of these shoes make it appear the Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at President Bush was wearing checkered Vans or something....

According to City-Data the 92101 is One Huge White Dude Sausage Fest

Males: 19,032 (69.2%)
Females: 8,462 (30.8%)

Read more stats at City-Data.com

Funny Backwards Ad's From the 30's

Times sure have changed! Wonder what ad's future generations will laugh at that we have now? Probably all the prescription drug medicines that are killing people left and right....

The Nirvana Baby All Grown Up

From CNN:
"Spencer Elden, the underwater infant pursuing a dollar bill on the cover of 1991's "Nevermind" is doing swimmingly these days, having graduated a year early from a Los Angeles-area high school.

Being the "Nirvana baby" -- as Elden calls himself -- has been profitable.

Now 17, Elden says he was paid $1,000 to re-enact the famous pool pose for photographers. Compare that to the original shoot which paid $200.

Stuff happens like random cool situations where I get paid $500 just to go hang out," Elden said. "People just call me up and they're like, 'Hey you're the Nirvana baby, right? Well just come and swim in my pool and we'll give you some money."

NOTE: Lucky Bastard. Although I bet the people who call him are like lame asses from Big Brother 2 and other kooks who throw a party where the biggest incentive to come is the Nirvana Baby is going to be swimming in the same pool as you. Actually. That sounds sorta cool....wonder if he does house parties....

Baby, It's Cold Outside Lyrics- Coy and Cute in the 50's, Creepy Now...

I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outside
I've got to go away - Baby it's cold outside
This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice
My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what's your hurry
My father will be pacing the floor - Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I'd better scurry - Beautiful, please don't hurry
well Maybe just a half a drink more (Then, a couple sips, Now: 2-3 more cocktails and maybe a hit of a joint)- Put some music on while I pour

The neighbors might think - Baby, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink (Then, a coy way to say, "Oh dear my inhibition are down a bit". Now: Roofies, GHB, Etc.) - No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how - Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell - I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no, no, no, sir - Mind if I move a little closer (Then, hand holding might have occurred, Now: Probably about to get a boob grope...)
At least I'm gonna say that I tried - What's the sense in hurting my pride
I really can't stay - Baby don't hold out
Ahh, but it's cold outside

C'mon baby

I simply must go - Baby, it's cold outside
The answer is no - Ooh baby, it's cold outside
This welcome has been - I'm lucky that you dropped in
So nice and warm -- Look out the window at that storm
My sister will be suspicious (Then, concerned, Now: Jealous) - Man, your lips look so delicious
My brother will be there at the door (Then concerned, Now: Waiting to give you shit) - Waves upon a tropical shore
My maiden aunt's mind is vicious (Then, prude, cranky old aunt, Now: Your "talks-shit-about-everyone-elses-life-in-order-to-feel-better-about-the-mess-she's-made-of-her-own" Aunt - Gosh your lips look delicious
Well maybe just a half a drink more - Never such a blizzard before

I've got to go home - Oh, baby, you'll freeze out there
Say, lend me your comb (Is she brushing her hair to leave or about to make a comb kazoo?) - It's up to your knees out there
You've really been grand - Your eyes are like starlight now
But don't you see - How can you do this thing to me (Then, playful, Now: If you don't have sex with me I'll tell everyone your a prude after continuing to try and lay you)
There's bound to be talk tomorrow (Then, giggles over lunch, Now: Myspace Bulletins) - Making my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied - If you caught pneumonia and died (Then, playful, Now: Evidence of guilt/cover up plot at the trial of your death)
I really can't stay - Get over that old out
Ahh, but it's cold outside

Baby it's cold outside

Brr its cold….
It's cold out there
Cant you stay awhile longer baby
Well…..I really shouldn't...alright (Then, giving in, Now: Date Rape Drug is kicking in)

Make it worth your while baby (Then, french kissing, Now: Mandatory Oral Sex for the Lady)
Ahh, do that again…. (See Above)

Scared of Santa

My anti-commercialization, mildly religious, selectively traditional parents never did the whole Santa thing. Presents were wrapped and put under the tree as they were bought. We didn't even do the whole sitting on Santa's lap thing! I don't feel like I've missed out and I ADORE all things Christmas, even Santa and especially pictures of kids terrified as they sit on Santa's Lap. A project by the Chicago Tribune has established a site and written a book focused on kids who are apathetic, terrified, angry and confused and otherwise as they make that exciting trip up to Santa's Lap. Here are a few of my favorite, check out the book and the Chicago Tribune Website for more!!

Craigslist Missed Connection: This is most likely a trap....

TIRED OF NOT GETTING ANY - m4w - 27 (SAN DIEGO)
Reply to: pers-945232636@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-12-04, 2:32PM PST


Are you tired of not getting any or simply dont know where to start?
Believe it or not there is a structure that you must follow to get laid. I can teach you how. reply to this post classes forming now. YOu must have an open mind and ready to unlearn what you know now.


Location: SAN DIEGO
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 945232636


Yet I'm still slightly intrigued....

Kanye West: "Who the Fuck Is Stephen Colbert?"

FROM PITCHFORK:
"It's the holidays, and Stephen Colbert is taking another musician to task. To support the release of A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All!, the soundtrack to his Christmas special of the same name, Colbert has launched "Operation Humble Kanye": a mission to topple "sunglasses display mannequin" Kanye West's 808s and Heartbreak from its (former, last we checked) #1 spot on iTunes' "Top Albums" chart."

So Funny:

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Operation Humble Kanye

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

Then Kanye Twittered:

Donate Your Fur Coats for Orphaned Animals to Use as Beds....

Now through April of next year, all Buffalo Exchange locations will be accepting real fur apparel (coats, hats and even that hideous fox scarf of yours) and donating them to the Humane Society to use as bedding and comfort for orphaned and injured animals. Condition isn't important, so don't be afraid to bring in that minx jacket splattered with the red paint PETA threw at you.


NOTE: Does this strike anyone else as sort of odd? I mean besides the fact that the only real incentive is a tax break, and I don't even know anyone my age who has hit the bracket where they are PAYING taxes and not getting a tax return yet anyway. What no coupon? Not even 10, 15, 20% off a future purchase? I mean if I bought the damn thing I obviously didn't have a problem with it then and I probably paid lots of money (that I didn't have) and would SELL IT BACK to Buffalo Exchange not give it away for some mangy (yet most likely adorable) mutt to snuggle down in. Shit I got BLANKETS I can donate for that.....And I know it's not the same as giving orphaned babies baby blankets made of baby skins but.....

Is this even a possible (real) job?

VEGAN PASTRY CHEF (Bankers Hill)

Reply to: see below
Date: 2008-12-03, 8:42PM PST


Part-time in creative nurturing environment... working with cutting edge recipes and premium ingredients compesnation negotiable depending upon experience call Mitch (619) 405-8319


Location: Bankers Hill
Compensation: $ 10 - $ 12/hr depending on exp
This is a part-time job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Phone calls about this job are ok.
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 944288131

Prop 8: The Musical

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Japanese Version of The Office

20 Clues A Woman Should Call It A Night

1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.
2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my butt
while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move around.
3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly
believe I could do it too.
4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more like Tammy
Faye Baker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.
5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. submarine on the floor (which I'm eating even
though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.
6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo
much.
7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work.
8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to
me.
9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.
10.The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and
sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.
11.My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I
keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.
12.I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
13.I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me
just lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin.
14.I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the
kitchen floor.
15.I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the
WRONG WAY but..."
16.I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.
17.My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
18.I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be
standing) and take a quick nap.
19.I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut
down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.
20.I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm
having problems walking straight.

Add In Your Own People!!

Pop Art: Design Your Own Pringle Can

On a trip through the chip aisle at my local liquor store I checked out a Pringles can that said you could log online and design you own. A la Jones Soda.... Now I don't eat Pringles anymore (kettle cooked is so where it's at). But I was curious so I checked it out. Turns out every time you design a can they donate $1 to The Childrens Miracle Network. You can check out the gallery they have to see the cans other people have designed or you can create one of your own. They have ready made backgrounds or you can upload your own images. I tried to upload a Bob Marley photo but it kept kicking me offline. So I made the one below instead for kicks haha. You can design as many as you want then you print them out and I assume affix them to your Pringle can...either way it's sort of fun and helps out a sick kid or two. Try it out, get creative, download your design and share it with us!!
DESIGN YOUR OWN PRINGLES CAN

A Craigslist Missed Connection: One NOT to Answer back

To the lady watching me buy condoms at von's - m4w
Reply to: pers-941187478@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-12-01, 4:38PM
I was the 20 something guy holding two bottles of chardonay in the condom section of the Von's. You were the lovely lady in her 50's peering over my shoulder as I made my selection. I was not aware of your presence until the audible gasp when I reached for a box of ribbed magnums. My date did not go exactly as planned; the wine went down ok but I forgot to use the magnums in the heat of the moment and I think I may have gotten the clap. Long story short I still have a dozen condoms left over if you are interested in going out sometime...


Location: San Diego
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests